In gaining referrals, the key is the messenger (the person doing the selling) vs. the methodology (the approach). Content only accounts for about 10% of believability. The other 90% comes from a person’s tone of voice and body language. In other words, how you say it is more important than what you say. Everyone is looking for a method that opens the door to an unending stream of great referrals. Our contention is that many methods “work” (as long as you feel comfortable in using it) but the truth is: how you look and how you sound has more impact than the words you say! It’s the spirit behind the words, the attitude that carries the message along. These are the qualities that convey TRUST. Why is this so important?
Because the best definition of a referred lead is “borrowed trust.” Someone believes in the salesperson so much he or she is willing to introduce that person to another, trusting the salesperson to do an excellent job. In essence, getting referred leads (15 to 20 times more effective than cold calling) comes down to a communication issue. It is always a matter of lowering the “relationship tension” and raising the “task tension” (getting on with business). That begins and ends with trust.
Going a bit deeper, what brings about trust? We believe it is best accomplished by embracing one’s calling. There is a big difference between a job, a profession and a calling! In a job, there is time at a task in exchanged for money. It may be boring, monotonous, tedious---not very fulfilling---but there is an investment of time for a paycheck. In a profession, there is a continuing learning process…a maturation in which the worker gets better and better. Knowledge, skills and desire mark the true professional. However, the fulfillment factor may be missing. Outside of the person’s strength and giftedness, the worker may be exhausted and find little meaning and purpose. He or she is good at what they do, but may not see value on what they are doing: little significance or impact. A calling is different: a calling is radically unique. Some call it finding the “sweet spot”…a place where “what you do well” intersects with “what you like to do.” It brings both personal peace and financial prosperity. It “makes a difference” in the lives of others!The question is: How does a person find their calling?
We believe that a calling consists of three things all coming together. Without all three, it may be a job or a profession, but not a calling.
You have to want to do it. There must be a passion involved in attempting it. Every calling has its tedious moments. That’s the job part. But at the heart of what you do, are you passionate about it? If a person is “dead inside” he is not called. Passion may ebb and flow, depending on things like fatigue and circumstances, but there is always a deep-down desire to do it. A salesperson may not like certain people, the paperwork, the phone calling, etc. The key question is: Do you like being in front of people and helping to solve their problems or meet their needs?
You have to have the ability to do it. If you don’t have the ability, it may just be enthusiasm, not passion that carries it along. If you believe you have a passion to sing, but nobody you know has the passion to listen, then you’re not called! The best test to determine this: do your friends and family (those that know you best) believe you have the ability? They will confirm it or be skeptical of it.
You have to have an opportunity to do it. A door must be opened. If you have the passion and the ability, but never a venue to exercise your talents, then you are not called…at least not now. A door may later be opened, but if you are never given an “audience” for you to impact, you are not called.
The reason why it is essential to discover and develop your calling is because being in sales has its seasons of adversity. When those times come, if a salesperson does not have an unshakable sense of calling, he or she will move from disappointment to devastation to departure! A calling gives you true roots when the winds of adversity blow…and the agent may bend but not break.
For example, when top producers within the life insurance industry (top of the table or court of the table agents) were asked to give the top reasons for their success, they mentioned three essentials:
They believed in what they were doing.
The connected their heart to their market
They had a coach.
If you examine closely a sense of calling with the above three ingredients, we see why coming to grips with our calling is critical. Notice the parallels:
Belief brings passion.
Ability attracts similar ability in a market (demographic)
A coach provides opportunities
In addition, a firm grasp of calling brings about the three most important intangibles that will give the energy and power to press on when circumstances are troubling: Drive, Passion and Focus.
Drive: Whatever it takes I’ll do it. This is a matter of the will, when feelings are negative.
Passion: At the heart of what I do, I love it. A mom will change the dirty diapers because she loves the child.
Focus: The ability to say “no”. In business, it is always a matter of being a river vs. a swamp. It is the only thing that brings impact. It’s like the Colorado River that forms the Grand Canyon vs. the murky water that makes up the Everglades.
These are the qualities that will be the antidotes that bring a salesperson down and create a vicious cycle of destruction: Fear of the future, anxiety of the present and guilt from the past.
Bottom line is this: Without a firm belief that a salesperson is called to this type of business, he or she will be riddled with fear, anxiety and guilt and the prospect or client will be aware that something is amiss. Not only will business suffer, but quality referred leads will be sporadic at best.
To compound the problems we face as salespeople, even solidly convinced we are called, there is a sinister cycle we all face that adds to the pressure, discouragement and poor performance of so many.
The Problem
The Core Emotion in All of Us is Fear!
In the story of Genesis (3:10) the exchange between God and Adam, after the Fall, points us in the direction of a core problem. When God asks, “Where are you?” (to Adam right after he rebels)…
Adam responds with a three-fold statement:
“I was afraid, because I was naked, therefore, I hid myself.”
The explanation of the verse is that statement one covers the core emotion in all of us: Fear.
The second part of the verse gives us the core reason: Naked (we are transparent, vulnerable, positioned for rejection)
The third part of the verse gives us the core strategy: We Hide (we run from conflict, we hide from rejection because we want to be accepted/liked, etc.)
How do we, as salespeople, hide? Various answers are correct: behind the computer,
Paperwork, not wanting to make calls, etc. I ask, “Is there a fair amount of rejection involved in this business of selling?” The answer is an obvious “yes”.
This set of problems creates an even deeper problem and the bad news gets worse!
The Result of this is the Law of Decay!
There is a cycle that all of us go through: Romance, Reality and Rejection.
Meaning: When a salesperson first joins a company, feelings are high, therefore performance is high. This is the honeymoon phase, or the Romance phase. All is well!
Sooner or later, when the salesperson is disappointed or feels rejected, those feelings (a terrible basis for a good relationship because they are fickle) go down. What happens to performance? It goes down! And we slide into the second stage of the cycle: Reality.
At this point, the “grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence.” We want a new beginning….either at work (and this cycle also is at work in relationships…in a marriage or with a significant other). The pressure grows: Fear, Anxiety and Guilt take on a more intense pattern. The Drive, Passion and Focus that marked phase one (Romance) wanes. We slide into the third phase: Rejection and at this point, we plot to make our “escape”…either into another personal relationship or another vocation. IF we make the move, we discover that the problem is that we simply exchange “one set of problems for another set of problems” and we often times simply repeat the cycle.
So the question is this: how do we reverse the cycle and stay between reality (maturity is an adjustment to reality) and romance (we all like to feel good about what we are doing!)
Salespeople are particularly susceptible to FEAR (the primary reason we don’t ask for referrals, because we are afraid we haven’t earned the right to ask, or we fear we will ruin the sale, or hurt the relationship). In fact, we believe we are not providing as valuable of a service as we ought, probably because we do not feel called to a job that brings significance and security to the prospect/client.
So, what’s the answer?
We believe that there is a two-fold solution to this two-fold problem. Notice I do not talk about a methodology so much as a MIND-SET. Out of the heart comes the issues of life! It is not so much about content as it is about how we communicate: If there are 26 signal systems and 25 are non-verbal, we give off our cues (loud and clear) that we “don’t deserve” referrals. So what are the solutions to FEAR and the LAW OF DECAY?
The Solution
Discovering Your Core Strength Reduces Your Fear
I talk here about the fact that only 17% of all people consistently use their core strength on a day-to-day basis at work. Only 2 out of 10, by they own admission, traffic in their strength! I make it clear that it is up to US to discover and develop our strength—not our managers or anyone else!
We believe that you possess a strength that 10,000 other people do not. But it is up to us to discover it and use it.
Here’s the key principle in using your strength: If you practice your strengths, your weaknesses become irrelevant. We then manage or delegate our weaknesses; that at the end of the day, if you focus on improving your weaknesses, all you have are strong weaknesses! Practice doesn’t make perfect; practicing your strength makes you better and better!
How does one discover their strengths? I believe there are four steps:
Step One: You are drawn to another’s strength that is similar to your own. You say to yourself, “That looks like fun!” The behavior in another doesn’t look like “work” but rather it looks exhilarating! You want to try it out!
Step Two: When exercised, it brings deep satisfaction. There is always a spark of pleasure attached to exercising your strength. It proves the adage: The key to individual success is to find out what you DON’T like to do…and stop doing it! There are only two things that ultimately motive us…The desire to gain pleasure and the need to avoid pain! Either inspiration or desperation will motivate!
Step Three: It will take a person 8—10 years to fully develop their strength. We will move in a progression of incompetence, to competence, to expert to genius! We believe ALL of us want to die a genius! The good news about all the years of working to “perfect” our strength is that it is NOT a dreaded learning curve! We will enjoy it. And since time “waits for no man,” we might as well get started. In 10 years, we’ll be 10 years older anyway.
Step Four: When you exercise your strength, others are fulfilled and you are too! People will say things like, “You’re a natural at this.” Or “You are really good at this!” You think everybody should be able to do this and you can’t believe you are actually paid for something you love to do! Exercising your strength blesses you and others as well.
There is a website called Simplystrengths.com that I like a lot. At the site, a book by Marcus Buckingham called Go Practice Your Strengths, a read designed to take you deeper into the application of your strengths, has genuinely helped define and develop strengths.
But how do you use your strengths? It must be combined with a word we have talked about a lot, but that needs illustrating in the context of the financial service industry: the word CALLING.
Discovering Your Calling Reverses the Law of Decay
Marrying your strength to your calling leads a salesperson to the right market and allows focus and execution to flourish. It is at this level that 1) We think well, 2) We plan well and 3) We execute well.
So, HOW do we apply all of this? I believe, “A method IS important. What we have talked about is the message (messenger) behind the message…how and why you do what you do.” Any method will work IF it fits your personality and style. The key is: learn it, be consistent in using it and by all means, follow-up quickly with those names you have been given.
The Action Plan
How do we change the way we do business? Think about referred leads in connection to your business plan. An action plan consists of at least 4 steps (in order) and asking 4 main questions.
The Magic Four In Facilitating Change
Imagine a baseball diamond. (At “First Base) put the word VISION (a function of leadership)
A vision consists of “Guiding yourself to a better future (and your staff).” The key to leadership is 1) Having a sense of optimism (the future will get better), 2) Having an appropriate ego 2) Being Clear. A leader must clarify the win (the end point of the vision), think steps (a strategy), and narrow the focus (get a plan).
(At “Second Base”) put the word REALITY (a function of management)
Reality consists of using one’s resources wisely. These number at least 4 things: Money, Time, Energy and Competence. The first two reflect value; the last two reflect effort. This phase confirms whether we really mean our vision, or it is simply a compilation of platitudes. How a person spends their money and uses their time will tell you everything about how a person values their vision. Should a vision outrace resources? Yes, but not by much. To do so moves it from “vision” to a “dream.” From faith to foolishness.
(At “Third Base”) put the word CHARACTER (a function of coaching)
A coach’s responsibility is find out what’s really inside a person and draw it out. A coach helps you 1) Find the right information 2) Holds you accountable in applying it and 3) Exhorts you to persevere thru the tough times. The primary reason why so many of us do not find a good coach is because we have not done our homework on the first two: creating a vision and dealing with the reality of resources to pull it off. Once those two are put into place, “the student is ready” and the teacher often times shows up! All of us have stood on the shoulders of giants if we have achieved a measure of success. We cannot live this life in a vacuum. We need others to help us.
(At “Home Plate”) put the word COURAGE (a function of planning)
Sooner or later, as Peter Drucker says, “All organization must degenerate into work!” We must do something. This activity is a function of planning. We must plan our work and work our plan (the cliché is true!). Life rewards activities, not good intentions! This part jumpstarts the vision and begins to put legs to the abstract.
ALL parts are needed for a workable business plan (which includes asking for referred leads). A good business plan also gives confidence that erodes fear and propels the agent to ask for referrals. Let’s see what happens if any of the 4 are missing:
If you don’t have VISION…you are, at best, a manager.
If you don’t have REALITY…you are a dreamer.
If you don’t have CHARACTER…you lead yourself and your staff into trouble.
If you don’t have COURAGE…you are passive and negative.
The Magic Four Questions That Must Be Asked
So how are we motivated to see if our heart is in it? By asking 4 key questions at every point in the progression of the diamond:
With Vision…”What do I want to do 3 years from now?”
With Reality…”What resources do I want to invest to help me get there?”
With Character…”Who do I want to associate with to help me get there?”
With Courage…”Do I really want to plan my work and work my plan over the next 3 months (Goals vs. Desires)?”
